Updated: Apr 23
In this post, I explain how Gen Xers can use the Think-Feel-Act Model (TFAM) to transition to a new style of life without having to wait for retirement. Using my signature coaching framework, I teach Gen Xers to apply TFAM to their thought work practice. Thought work helps Gen Xers identify the faulty thought patterns that block their mental shift. The goal of thought work is to reframe your mindset from dysfunctional beliefs to practical ones.
Once you understand how the model works, you’ll use it as your GPS navigator to a different lifestyle. Here, I explain each of the model’s factors more deeply and show you how to increase awareness of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors keeping you stuck. A benefit of the model is that you’ll develop the ability to stay focused on your goals while avoiding sabotaging your motivation and self-confidence.
So what is TFAM?
The Think-Feel-Act Model, or TFAM, is based on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). This brand of psychotherapy highlights the relationship between your thought patterns and resulting behaviors. As a Lifestyle Transition coach, I believe the TFAM is the perfect tool for Gen Xers who are silently screaming, “I wish something would change!” because it takes the guesswork out of knowing what to change.
Moreover, the model addresses three factors: thoughts, feelings, and actions. The assumption is that our thoughts produce the emotions that guide our behaviors. Think of the model as a cycle where each factor can start the cycle. The process is activated when a circumstance occurs that produces your thoughts. Those thoughts influence your feelings, which causes you to respond in a particular way. Your behavior results in an outcome that you evaluate as either good, bad, or neutral. Again, I want to emphasize that the model is not linear, and any factor can trigger the cycle. More on this in a future post.
The Think, Feel, Act Model
Thinking Mistakes Worksheet (Herbert, 2005)
Here’s a description of the factors in more detail.
Thoughts: The ideas and beliefs we choose to hold about ourselves, other people, or situations.
Feelings: The positive and negative emotions we experience resulting from the thoughts we choose to believe.
Actions: The behavioral outcomes resulting from the thoughts and feelings we choose.
Notice that I emphasized the word “choose.” Thought work requires us to accept the belief that thoughts are voluntary and that we have agency over what we think and believe. For some Gen Xers, this idea is challenging to embrace. But I challenge you to think about times when you deliberately focused on a thought because it produced positive emotions. Maybe it was a gift you received, the time you spent with someone special, or a vacation you really enjoyed.
When you learn how to choose your thoughts, you can decrease the volume of negative emotions you experience. Why choose to believe a thought that results in crappy feelings? This is a simple question, yet all of us do this (including myself). Once you bring awareness to what you think and how it makes you feel and behave, you’ll discover how to use thought work to be your own change navigator. This realization is the secret sauce to stop feeling unworthy of living the life you desire.
If you want to learn how to use TFAM to take your first step towards living a new style of life, I have something just for you! I’m hosting a FREE online workshop called the Lifestyle Vision Challenge.
This workshop works best for busy professionals who:
*Are secretly burned out but won’t admit it
*Juggle many hats but make little time for themselves
*Want to understand why they are struggling to get out of the neutral zone
During the workshop you’ll:
*Create a vision for the lifestyle you desire, using change as an opportunity
*Identify potential obstacles and explore your new learning curve
*Reframe your mindset to change your dysfunctional beliefs to practical ones
*Develop your Lifestyle Transition Blueprint by taking an honest look at the gap between your current reality and your goal
*Identify accountability practices that help you stay on the path to achieving a new way of living
Space is limited, so register today! Just click on the link below.
Let’s keep in touch on social media!
*Gen X-Unlatched Facebook Group (Private): https://www.facebook.com/groups/genxunlatched/
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio–Pexels